What our Young People (and the rest of us) Need.

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Watch the news….or on second thought, don’t. It’s bad. Putin is being passive aggressive, North Korea is building nukes, Kim Kardashian ate a Pretzel. (Not sure what is the worst in the list).

I daylight as a High School business teacher and coach. I work with teenagers every day. I work with 14 year olds just trying to fit in and I work with 18 year olds trying to find their way out of the building (which is really soon if they pass their classes!).

The thing I find about teenagers is (and is no shock) is that they really don’t think “down the road.” They think about tonight and maybe next week, but there is no long-term vision. Now, if they had one, it may change weekly.

Teens and even college students just don’t stop enough to really evaluate their lives. “Am I studying something I will use in the future?” “Am I dating someone I would like to marry?” “What is my 5 year plan?”

Even more than that, they don’t stop and think about what their lasting legacy will be. I have an acquaintance that is a former college athlete that saw his brother tragically die in a car wreck some years ago. Having that “opportunity” changed the entire trajectory of his life.

In reality, this isn’t just a teenage problem is it? I’m just going to leave this video here and let you watch it. Powerful stuff. Allow this “opportunity” to change you today.

http://3dimensionalcoaching.com/301-unit-8

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Accountability and the Fallen Athlete

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It seems every week or so we read or hear a story about a high profile athlete falling from grace. Whether it be Dustin Johnson for undisclosed reasons, Johnny Manziel going into rehab, Josh Hamilton admitting a relapse into drugs, or of course Tiger Woods’ infamous scandal, the hits keep coming.

Each case is as unique as the individual, but ultimately, there is a way to keep out of it. I preach it a lot, and some of these guys are figuring it out: http://www.golf.com/tour-and-news/dustin-johnson-has-new-outlook-his-game-and-his-life

It’s all about being “grounded.” This is a way overused term, but I think it fits well here. When you face incredible scrutiny and receive tons of compensation and fame for what you do, vices will follow. They will trail you like a detective on a tv show. 1 Peter 5:8 has something to say about that.

So, to go with my title, what would I tell them?

I would simply tell them they need to get back to being themselves pre-fame in their activities and lifestyle (to a degree at least). They need to find purpose and have someone willing to hold them accountable and be present in their lives.

I stress it a lot on here, but in the toolbox of helpful ideas, Accountability (daily, hourly, weekly) is one of the most powerful modes of bringing about change.

Often times we just wont call our own bluff. We can lie to ourselves or just suppress feelings and realities. We can tell ourselves we are “under control” or we will “bear down” to beat something. Honestly, we often times don’t have the strength individually.

So, if you are reading this thinking “how am I going to turn the corner?” then think about partnering up with someone. Run through your goals, your hopes, your vices, your struggles, and let them help you tackle them by challenging you.

Planning, Failing, all that Jazz

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Do you have a 5 year plan? A 1 year plan? 6 Month? Still struggling day to day on what to do?

A wise man once said “If you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it everytime.” Unless we are going to set some goals and get concrete in our productivity and mission, we really are at best treading water.

Maybe your goal needs to be finding a job: Set out to research jobs, locations you would want to work, and things you are qualified for. Maybe you need to set out a quantity of job applications you want to put out there a week?

Maybe it’s skill development or furthering education? Maybe it’s financial.

The key is to really spend some time thinking. I promise you that finding a concrete goal is the first part of getting some forward momentum in your daily life. The second part is finding someone to come alongside and join you to keep you honest. (Accountability)

Homework: Set up a plan for some aspect of your life. Make sure you can measure the goal, that it is specific, and it has deadline. Then find someone (like me) to help focus that goal and get you moving toward it. Direction + Passion= Abundant life.

My Life would be so much better if…….?

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Most likely you filled in that sentence, or you are doing it now.

  • A fulfilling relationship with someone who “gets” me
  • Financial stability
  • A feeling of fulfillment or purpose at work
  • A career that matches passions and skill-set
  • The ability to prioritize responsibilities and tasks

I can think of a few myself. I often get wrapped up in these things: what’s next, what can I get, who can I beat? What is that really about though? For the rich, there is never enough.

True, ultimate fulfillment only comes from realizing your ultimate purpose in God’s plan.

I also believe tapping into your resources and God-given talents and abilities and using them for the greater good is where you find yourself most happy.

So, I’d love to hear from you…what’s one answer to the title question, and one thing you are gifted or able to do that you can do to serve? Let me know in the comments below!

What is Stopping You?

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What do you REALLY want to do? You know what I’m talking about. You just thought of something. You probably got here because you are looking for it.

getting into life coaching is something new for me. I discovered it by accident. I have noticed though, it suits my passions, skill-set, and abilities. I want to do it. But, admittedly, I’m just starting out, and it is slow going. Why?

There is this voice in my head listing off reasons why this is a bad idea

It’s hard to get into. You have never started your own business. You’re too young. You don’t know enough people. —all prominent things my mind tells me, and some things my wife tells me :).

The real question though, is “Do i have the guts?” I’ll bet this hasn’t ever happened to you. Well, if you are interested in getting your project or goals on the road, contact me. Let’s do this! Let me join your team and give you the final nudge to do that thing you REALLY want to do.

How to do well with the Ladies

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Ok. This is written for guys. It also isn’t what you think.

Often times we go into a relationship trying to figure out what they can offer us. Sometimes our purpose in dating or a relationship is to “have fun.”

 

I will tell you that neither perspective is the right one. When we date to “have fun” all we are really doing is adding baggage and pain to that person as they move on to the next stage of their life. If I thought of my girlfriend as someone else’s daughter or someone else’s wife (until I married them) I know I would treat them with the kind of respect and purity that they should get.

Ultimately, our significant other must be someone we are willing to love. Do they need to be someone who fits every crazy criteria we have? I hope not, because you won’t find them; Sorry for bursting the Hollywood bubble on you.

So, Find someone you like and you are attracted to. Find someone with the same worldview/faith. Then find out if you are willing to sacrifice your time, money, and energy for that person. Then make sure they feel the exact same way. Are you going to be a stubborn fighter for the love you have? If you can answer yes without your heart missing a beat, you’ve found her. It’s that simple.

 

 

 

 

Baggage Fees

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luggage-210049-mOne thing that every grown (and more and more youths) carry is baggage. Maybe it’s from a former relationship or friend; maybe it’s abuse, maybe it’s other family drama. All of these things weigh heavy on us and often times we carry that into our current relationships, our work, and our home lives. This baggage has a much greater fee than American Airlines charges. I can personally remember painful situations from my middle school and high school days. One thing that keeps us holding on to that baggage is neglecting to forgive someone. There is a difference between forgetting and forgiving as well. It doesn’t mean I restore my full trust in that person, either. It means I no longer hold that act against that person.

The thing about not forgiving someone is, it’s like you drinking poison and expecting the other person to get sick.

We hold onto our anger, we go there when things don’t go right. We even enjoy the feeling. Ultimately, it’s just holding you back from moving forward. Do yourself a favor and think about people you may be holding a grudge or remain angry towards. Does that person deserve your anger? Maybe they do, and maybe they don’t. Now say a prayer on their behalf. Ask God to make things right and to help that person. I guarantee you will feel better.

What forgiveness does is frees us up to live fully. No grudges, no burning anger; there is just opportunity. Jesus was asked by his disciples how often to forgive. He said not 7 times, not 70 times, but 70 x 7 times. I’m so glad God deals with us better than we deal with each other.

So today, drop that baggage and start living free from that grudge!