For All the Single Ladies (and the Guys who Want to Help Them)

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softball-1170621-hSo, I wrote to the guys last post. This post is for you ladies. Today something profound happened at my high school girl’s softball practice that I didn’t plan for or anticipate.

We were finishing up practice and I asked my assistant coach (a female) if she had anything to add. She told them they needed to have positive self talk. They needed to think about the things they did well. These things needed not to be things they did better than anyone else, but to their own standards. I piggy backed off of that, and this literally just came out of my mouth:

You are better than you think you are, prettier than you think you are, and smarter than you think you are.

I was a little nervous to say it, as their are some pretty messed up teacher/student relationships these days. However, I was met with a chorus of “aww”s! I was blown away. It’s true though.

We are all our own worst critics. I think females especially fall into this trap. I don’t know how many times I get apologized to in a practice for a mistake or an oversight. I tell them “don’t apologize!” You can see the insecurity in their eyes and the way they look around when they come in to a group.

I did have one regret, and it is that I didn’t say this: You are loved more deeply than you will EVER know. This is the greatest and most powerful thing someone can know about themselves. God loved you so much (guys and ladies) that he literally allowed himself to be executed on our behalf.

Girls, take note: you are better than you think you are.

Guys: take note: building up the ladies in your life is vital! It will bring life to their hearts, minds, and souls.

I think I will probably continue to say that everyday to them. They need to know it. It’s just true.

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How to do well with the Ladies

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Ok. This is written for guys. It also isn’t what you think.

Often times we go into a relationship trying to figure out what they can offer us. Sometimes our purpose in dating or a relationship is to “have fun.”

 

I will tell you that neither perspective is the right one. When we date to “have fun” all we are really doing is adding baggage and pain to that person as they move on to the next stage of their life. If I thought of my girlfriend as someone else’s daughter or someone else’s wife (until I married them) I know I would treat them with the kind of respect and purity that they should get.

Ultimately, our significant other must be someone we are willing to love. Do they need to be someone who fits every crazy criteria we have? I hope not, because you won’t find them; Sorry for bursting the Hollywood bubble on you.

So, Find someone you like and you are attracted to. Find someone with the same worldview/faith. Then find out if you are willing to sacrifice your time, money, and energy for that person. Then make sure they feel the exact same way. Are you going to be a stubborn fighter for the love you have? If you can answer yes without your heart missing a beat, you’ve found her. It’s that simple.